Meant to Be or Meant to Break
by Hysteric Polaris
Summary: Hearing faint footsteps, Dist's heart began to pound within his chest. Were they coming or going? Would Jade stay or go? Were they meant to be or meant to break? JxD R


The effeminate God-General was up rather late, hard at work on some fontech schematics. He needed to refine them habitually because of the Jade Gang's constant thwarting of his Kaiser Dists. While he did so enjoy fontech, it did become tedious at times like this when he had to keep reviewing the same schematics over and over again from square one...

Dist set down the pencil and leaned back in his chair, sighing in defeat. Dark circles framed the lower lids of his eyes and repulsive specks of sleep crust were beginning to crop up at their corners. He had to keep rubbing them away, and then his eyes would water...

He so desperately wanted to complete these schematics before tomorrow, but at this rate, he'd fall asleep on the desk and wake up in the morning looking homely and unkempt from an unfulfilling night of makeshift sleep. So which mattered more to him, he pondered; his fontech or his appearance? A difficult decision for any person to make, he admitted to himself.

Leaving his glasses on the worktable, Dist got up and walked to the refrigerator to fetch a glass of water while he mulled over his predicament. In his stressed, sleepless state, the only conclusions he could successfully draw were for blame, and while he knew that the blame game won no battles, he just couldn't help himself. Reason didn't come easy to men under extreme duress.

_ Jade... This is all his fault... Everything that's ever gone wrong in my life's been his fault..._ Anger welled inside of him like a flame, licking away at his common sense and making him question himself and his decisions. _If he hadn't killed the professor, then he never would've pursued fomicry, and I never would've become a God-General, and we wouldn't be enemies, and he wouldn't be destroying my precious fontech, and I wouldn't be up so late tonight, sacrificing my beauty for fontech that I shouldn't need to refine and rebuild every damned month!!_

He slammed his fist on the counter (albeit lightly however so that he wouldn't damage his fragile hand) and opened the refrigerator door. Upon noticing its contents, Dist remembered how much of a hot topic Jade had become for him as of late. It seemed like nowadays, all he did was curse Jade and all he's done to corrupt his life... But now, he felt like cursing himself for that very reason, _Why can't I simply forget you...??_

Plucking the bottle of alcohol from his refrigerator, he walked back to his living room and sat himself down in a recliner. Staring at the bottle in his hand, memories came flooding back of the very reason that owning this bottle was a personal betrayal...

Fifteen years ago, on the night of Jade's birthday, Dist was wandering town. For some reason that currently escaped him, he was drawn into the bustling building labeled with the title "Bar" and took a good look around. The air reeked of strong ales and liquors and a good majority of the citizens wore expressions similar to overheated children in that their faces were adorned with rosy cheeks and sloppy smiles. A few visages retained a sober appearance though, including one Jade sitting on a stool at the far end of the bar, sipping from a small glass.

Just seeing Jade back then really brightened his mood; before he knew it, his slender legs had whisked him to Jade's side, and while he was positive that Jade could detect his presence, Jade remained silent. After said moment of silence, Dist realized that Jade wasn't going to initiate the conversation, so to test the waters and see if this was due to courtesy or resentment, he simply greeted him.

Jade nodded and returned a formal greeting without even so much as a glance away from his precious beverage. Dist looked from him to his glass and decided that he must not have been sore at him if he was willing to greet him so casually, so he cautiously seated himself on the stool beside Jade. A different smell filled his nostrils while he was near Jade. It was still a strong scent, so Jade must've been drinking this for a while now, but this particular drink didn't offend his nose as much as whatever everyone else was downing.

Dist decided to continue the conversation, not wanting to ruin a rare moment where Jade was not aggravated by his presence. "So, what brought you here tonight?"

"Did I not complete my ceremony today? Am I not of age now?" Jade still wouldn't look at him, but Dist...couldn't keep his eyes off of him. His intense scarlet stare was entrancing, even when not directed at himself.

"Yes, you are... I was just wondering... I wouldn't have pegged you as one to drown your sorrows in a glass like the rest of these lowlifes." Dist whispered the last word in case there were any aggresive drunkards within earshot. The last thing he wanted was to engage in fisticuffs with a drunken ruffian.

"That wasn't a very kind thing to say Saphir... Are you honestly telling me that you believe I'm no better than a lowlife right now?" Dist could tell by his inflection that he was being sarcastic, but he wasn't about to take the risk of making a false assumption and quickly acted to save himself.

"No no! Not at all!!" Dist apologized hastily. "It's just that...I know you're more mature than to resort to something like this, Jade. Would you really sacrifice your genius for one night of relief?"

"One doesn't lose a significant amount of brain cells after a single night of drinking, Saphir." Jade swigged the last of his glass and finally turned to look at Dist. Dist promptly had to repress the distraction and continue to pay his attentions to Jade's words rather than his hypnotizing gaze. Even when his eyes wore the glassy glaze of intoxication, they were irresistable. "I plan to drink in moderation. If you knew me as well as you claim to, then you'd know that me succumbing to alcohol abuse was never even a possibility." Jade signaled to the bartender that he wanted a refill and Dist took this opportunity to respond as Jade's glass got topped off.

"I never said that it was..." Dist was never good at arguing with Jade or even besting his clever sarcasm; that was always Peony's forté. But Jade was his friend, or he was back then at least, and he wanted to ensure that his friend would stay safe.

Before Dist could formulate a more detailed response, Jade held his glass out toward Dist and looked him in the eyes. "Would you like one as well? I'm willing to pay for you...but just this one time." That was certainly generous of him, but...

"No thank you, Jade, but it was nice of you to--"

"Do you fear for your precious brain cells, Saphir?" Jade retorted quickly with a sly grin, sipping from his glass. Dist's cheeks became rosy from frustrated embarrassment. Why did Jade have to be so sarcastically cruel sometimes? Didn't he see that he was simply worried about him? "I'm actually glad that you denied my offer. And not just because it saves me money that would've been foolishly wasted."

Dist wasn't sure how to take that comment; he really wished he had some kind of pocket Peony to carry around when he accompanied Jade so that he'd always be prepared with clever retorts. Dist grinned at the idea of finally besting Jade at sarcasm, after all those years of getting poked and prodded at with cruel words... Jade continued, "I admit this wasn't the brightest idea that I've ever had. But then again, not many of my ideas have been bright up to this point, just ingenius. The world would be better off without them, I'm sure."

Jade's hand moved to Dist's and gripped it tightly. Despite the fact that this caused him to be Jade's prisoner of sorts, Dist let his hand relax in Jade's grip, not wanting to get into some sort of physical power struggle with him. He trusted Jade; not that he could ever win without his fontech anyway. He did lay his eyes on their entwined hands though, at least acting surprised. "Would you promise me something, Saphir? Never emulate me and start drinking, despite any urges you may have. It's not something I enjoy admitting to, but you're right, and even if I'm not taking my own advice, at least one of us should protect their genius."

That was one of a few rare moments in his life when Dist honestly felt that he and Jade had really established a connection. He wasn't sure if that was just the alcohol talking, because Dist knew the topsy-turvy effects it could have on the body, despite one's strength or resolve, but Jade did seem to still be himself at the time...

And Dist had made the promise; signed the contract: "Of course, Jade..."

Now, as Dist stared into the now open bottle of booze, he contemplated whether or not he'd take the final dive into betrayal against Jade and travel beyond just owning the alcohol, but also consuming it. He'd bought it a short while ago on a similar Jade-hate trip as a symbol of his freedom from the necromancer, but he couldn't bring himself to commit the ultimate betrayal of ingesting it.

Until now.

Jade was the cause of all of his grief, of all of his pain; no matter how long or how admiringly he looked up to the man, Jade just spat in his face. With a cringing face, Dist swallowed his first real gulp of liquor.

With this swig, Dist declared himself finally free from Jade.

The minutes passed by in hours. It seemed like the hour hand on all his clocks had become the minute hand and ticked away the time at a a similarly swift pace. Before he knew it, it was well after midnight, and his bottle lay empty on the floor. His body lay curled up groggily in the recliner wearing a pathetic blank stare. The arm of his chair where his head rested was wet from tears and whatever fluids flowed from his nostrils that Jade had claimed him to be so famous for. And now he cursed even those.

Just then, a loud echoing noise struck his temple like lightning and he jerked upright. "Argh!" Dist screamed, gripping his aching forehead. When he heard the noise echo once again at a slightly less damaging pitch, he looked toward the door and realized that someone was ringing his doorbell. Who the hell would be visiting him this late??

Completely forgetting about his disheveled appearance in his intoxicated state, Dist answered the door only to find the one person he didn't want to see.

The colonel examined the shorter man's pale form both in disgust and confusion. Dist stood before him with his red dress shirt wide open, fly unzipped, and bags under his eyes shaded black as pitch. Maybe this was a worse time for this than he'd previously predicted...

Just seeing Jade standing there infuriated him. Without provocation, Dist rushed forward and punched Jade's chest with all his might, meaning of course that Jade only felt a slight push. "DAMMIT!! DAMN YOU!" Jade could tell from the scent of his breath and from the unprovoked aggressive behavior that Dist was either drunk or high on some drug and sighed. He didn't feel like babysitting tonight. This was supposed to be time AWAY from babysitting...

"Dist, calm down and explain the problem to me rationally. What did I do?" Jade wasn't sure if Dist was too intoxicated to listen to reason or not, but he had to give it a shot before going to the trouble of fetching the drunken man some water and babying him to sleep.

"Ev'rything!!" he slurred audibly. Looking beyond Dist's form in the doorway, Jade only noted one empty liquor bottle on the floor. It seemed that Dist's light weight was contributing significantly to his rate of intoxication. "You're the cause of all the probl'ms in my life and I can't get rid of you!!" Jade could only imagine the blame running through Dist's head. Jade WAS the cause for many people's grief, and they both realized that... But rather than interrupting, he figured that the best plan of action was to wait until he was signaled that it was his turn to speak or he was invited inside, which he admitted to himself, may be a while considering the situation. "Why can't I forget you?!" Now Dist stumbled forward pathetically and let his knees buckle beneath him, bearing his full weight, which wasn't very much, into Jade's arms.

Jade could tell it probably wouldn't be much longer before Dist either fell asleep or passed out, so he chose to simply endure it for the moment and responded neither physically nor verbally. Dist gripped Jade's jacket and began sobbing into it. Jade couldn't suppress cringing; he wasn't looking forward to washing booger stains out of his uniform tomorrow morning. "Jade...I just hate you so much because I love you...and you just hate me; you just hate me... Why do you hate me?!" Dist jerked his face up to look into Jade's eyes. "What did I do wrong?? Why do you hate me??" Dist attempted to shake an answer out of Jade, but Jade just looked him firmly in the eyes.

_ This isn't going to go anywhere desirable and I have nothing to say to him, but I should avoid further upsetting him if I'm going to get this over with sooner rather than later._ Jade couldn't even remember now why he had come over here in the first place, but he was undeniably regretting it now. "Dist, I think it's about time you went to sleep. I'm sure it's been a long day for you, so let's get you back inside and taken care of." Jade took Dist's hand firmly and led him back inside.

Dist continued to cry as he realized that Jade would see his empty liquor bottle on the floor, see his betrayal, and stopped Jade halfway through the living room by stopping and curling up on the floor in shame. Jade released another frustrated sigh and glared down at the man still holding his hand. "Get up, Saphir. You're not a child anymore. And I'm certainly not carrying you to your room."

Dist just pointed at the bottle as his body racked with sobs. "Yes, it was apparent from how you greeted me at the door that you've been drinking. So let's just get you to bed so that your liver gets time to work the poison from your system." It was almost like Jade didn't care at all that he had betrayed him!! Or maybe he forgave him and genuinely cared? Dist just couldn't read what Jade was thinking and it was eternally frustrating.

"Dammit!! Jade..." Dist jerked his hand from Jade's grasp and the two men waited dormant there in the living room for a few moments. "Jade, just tell me... Do you hate me?"

The question was somewhat unavoidable now, so Jade, wanting to end this silly game as soon as possible and figuring that Dist probably wouldn't remember anything in the morning anyway, finally admitted, "No." Dist looked up at him with the most pathetically adorable eyes, considering his current condition. "Can you get up now so we can get you into bed? I'll lock up your house on my way out."

Knowing better than to try and pry a more thorough answer from the colonel, Dist stood slowly and followed Jade upstairs to his bedroom. "Get changed or whatever else you need to do before you go to bed. Are you going to need help doing any of it?" Jade asked, hoping that Dist knew his current physical and mental limitations and continuing to hope that he wouldn't need any help at all. This was getting to be quite the mess of a visit...

"Can you get me a glass of water?" Dist bravely decided to ask. Jade nodded and headed downstairs to fetch it for him without argument. As he walked down the stairs and passed the bottle on the floor, he halted his progress. Kneeling, he picked up the bottle and tossed it in the nearby garbage can without a second thought. Then, he resumed his water run.

Meanwhile, Dist was upstairs changing his clothes. As he tossed old clothes aside and picked out new ones, he frowned at the discarded feathers on the floor from his trademark decorative collar. He knew he should pick them up and store them properly, but just seeing them right now...they were almost a symbol of his hatred for Jade. They symbolized what he became once his and Jade's paths permanently diverged. But if Jade really didn't hate him as he'd always thought, then he need not have anything more to do with them.

Just as Dist finished pulling the fresh shirt on over his head, Jade walked in with his water. Jade handed the glass to him and stared at Dist almost uncomfortably. "Are you going to be okay, Saphir?" Dist was moved by this inquiry...not only did Jade not hate him, but he was actually concerned for his well-being! Perhaps this betrayal was a necessary step in mending his broken life, and their broken relationship.

In all honesty, Jade was just worried about the God-General's earlier mood swings. He was so sporatic earlier and now seemed so tame and calm. He also knew for a fact that Dist had never been drunk before, so there was no telling how much of a baby he'd be about it when he woke up...and then he'd hear about it later...as would the rest of the kids he was babysitting before long... None of this was turning out as planned and he had to make sure everything would mend itself alright or more problems would generate in the near future.

"Jade... I have one last request..." Dist began shyly. "Just in case I won't be okay, would you stay here with me? You can just go lock the door, then come back up here and stay here with me..." His voice was quiet and trailed off. Jade was tempted to promptly reply with a firm, "Hell no," but realized Dist's fragile state and instead uncharacteristically agreed to his terms.

As he turned to leave the room, he formulated the plan in his head: Jade would return to Dist's room, lay out some blankets like he was really going to stay, wait until Dist fell asleep, then leave. It's not like he would remember any of this tomorrow anyway, and no one was ever out this late to see him sneaking out of Dist's apartment suspiciously. The plan seemed fool-proof. Seemed.

Dist smiled as the necromancer quietly glided out of his bedroom to go lock the front door. This was almost a dream come true. Not even when they were children did they ever get along so well! He sat himself on his bedding and awaited Jade's return like a lovesick puppy. There was a slight nagging at the back of his mind that caused him to worry that Jade may just leave and lock the door behind him on the way out, leaving him waiting all alone upstairs... Dist shook his head. He had to have faith that his loyalty to Jade would be rewarded.

_ If he doesn't come back, then we were never meant to even be friends... But if he does...then I promise to stay with him forever... I would follow him to the ends of Auldrant._

Hearing faint footsteps, Dist's heart began to pound within his chest. Were they coming or going? Would Jade stay or go? Were they meant to be or meant to break?

A silouette entered the doorway of his bedroom, entered, and closed the door behind him. Dist's eyes widened and he leapt to his feet. There Jade stood; the room was dark, but Dist knew it was him and had never been happier in his entire life. Jade's figure wordlessly approached Dist and his heart quickened again.

And just as Jade's hand began to reach out to him, Dist was startled awake by the loud, annoying blare of his alarm clock. It was 6:00 a.m. and the fontech schematics he'd fallen asleep working on were blotched with sweat, drool, and mucus.

...Ew.

Maybe he did live up to the "Dist the Runny" stigma Jade that had marked him with after all...


End file.
